And I'm done with the first two internals of my Engineering life. How were they, you ask? Epic, epic EPIC bad. Especially Math. I could see the entire intergalactic system in front my eyes when I saw the objective paper. And  after coming out from the hall, I went about telling everyone "The paper totally raped me" Yeah, go on, accuse me of being a perv. or whatever. I don't care. That was the worst exam of my life. I was aghast for an entire hour after writing the test. On the *slightly* brighter side, almost everyone didn't do that well, so yeah.

              Physics, which was the other exam of the day ( yes, we have TWO in a day) wasn't so bad but like all the other Physics tests I've written, I could've done MUCH better. I forgot  an answer which I've been learning for over two years. Bragg's Law, if anyone knows it.

              And that was how it was on the first day of internals. I wanted this to be recorded for posterity, or well as long as this blog stays. Good times y'know?

Zonty Ze Zoker.

NS and I skipped college yesterday to *ahem* write assignments. But what we mostly did was visit Jonty's college for a fest that was going on there. She was playing a skeleton or something in the scary house. How could we not go?

Anyway, the scary house was in a seminar hall of sorts and there was a HUUGE crowd in front of it. Seriously. The outside looked nice too, with a snazzy poster.

Believe it or not, we had had to wait for more than hour to get in. Meanwhile they had a break for lunch and we sneaked in from the back door to see what was going on and met Jonty. She was awesome as the Joker 
( She looked more like The Joker than a skeleton)  There was one girl who had scary stuff painted over her face and she was dangling on top of a shelf with her head tilted to her side and we were all chatting for a while when a short girl, who was Chinese I think, with straiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight black hair and jet black eyes wearing a white petticoat came out from behind a partition. NS and I were looking at her curiously when she put her hands in front and charged straight at us! It was SO freaky and AWESOME! She was playing the part of 'the little girl'  ghost apparently, and she had red makeup around the eyes and two drops on her face which looked like blood dribbling down from her eyes! Their show had to resume soon, so we left and we were again trying to get in through the main door. Tired of waiting we went to explore the other stuff. There was a snake show and   some Jurassic Park or something and exhibits all over but one school mate we ran into told us that there were specimens in the Zoology lab so we went in search of it and we saw this there- 
Say hello to pickled Cobra~

    Finally the girl at the door took pity on us and let us in, and I was quite scared because it was really really dark, pitch black actually, and I couldn't see a THING. As we progressed through the room, we encountered the Little Girl and I said ( Yelled, more like)  "Hey! You're the little girl right?" and even though she was being all scary, I saw her smile when I said that and then when we went into the last row I was calling out " Jonty! Jonty! Where are you?" and then I waved at the girl who was on top of the shelf and it was the end of the scary house. xD Funny it was. Lol. 

Ooh, we also kind of stalked a hot senior from our Inter college who was also at this fest. He was HOT. He looked like Orlando Bloom! 

Finally, I end with a pic of Zonty the Zoker ( It's blurred and stuff) 

A Happy Diwali to anyone who cares!

 So, you must have noticed the change in title of the blog. Um, yeah. I thought changing times called for a change in the title. I noticed that I no longer "muse" and I'm more of a socially fucked up person than a "bored teenager" and hence, I present to you "Ramblings of a social retard". Because let's face it, I AM a social retard and the tales and thoughts that I present to you just go on to confirm it. Bleh.
Happy blog birthday to me,
happy blog birthday to me,
happy blooog birthday to meee,
happy blog birthday to me!

*Gifts everyone who's here imaginary Belgian chocolates*

(Well, I'm 2 days late, I know. )

Flat No. 402 at V.Vihar.

I live in an apartment in which 7 of the 15 flats are owned by my relatives. Two of whom are my aunts (Dad's sisters)


  • The FOOOOOD. Whenever anyone makes anything naice, I get to eat it. :D Awesome no? 
  •  I get the latest scoop on what's going with the fam., and I can dodge my Mum's accusations that I live in a parallel universe all the time by quoting at her these scoops. 
  • Anyone who comes to Hyderabad visits my house as there are already so many people living in this building. It's like one of those "must-visit" places when you go to some city or something.
  • My Grandmom comes to stay and stays for a long time too. :) ( Okay, she would've, regardless of wherever we lived, but still. ) 
  • I also have access to a Veena, guitar, keyboard and i-pad (well, I can look at it) :P. 


  •    This is ironic, but yeah the fooood.  Sometimes, I'm pestered to eat, eat and EAT even when I'm  not remotely hungry. -_-
  • Some conversations go like this- 
           Cousin no !# from the U.S. who I hadn't spoken to in a long time- So. I hear you went out with            
            friends. Where did you go? 
           Me- Huh? Wth? How do you know? 
          Cousin- My mother in law saw you and your friends go out and she told me. You left your hair open or  
           something no? 
          Me- Uh. Yeah. :/ 

If you couldn't guess her MIL is one of the relatives who lives in my building. 

  • You know I told you about all those relatives who come by? Well, it might not be such a good thing after all. You know how you like to lounge around in your oldest pj's and holey shirts at 2 p.m. in the summer hols when you have nothing to do? Right? Riiiight? Wrong. I mean, I can't. My mom won't let me "in case any one comes home" and the two times I WAS wearing such stuff, people came home and it was really really embarrassing and I had to go and hide in my room. 
  • I love hanging out in my balcony, just observing the world pass by and being cut-off from the house.  Once, I was being all reflective, I put my chin on the balcony railing and I was staring at the skyline and all when I hear voices. "Sadhana! Sadhana!" I was puzzled and I looked into my room when it was apparently from above. Yes, from my aunt's flat. She was standing there above me, beaming,               " What are you doing all alone? Come up!" I had nothing to do anyway, so I went. And I was just telling her about college when she sits me down and hands me a glass to paint on.                               "Do this glass painting" she said after giving me the design and showing me how to use the glass colors and left. :| And I sat there for 3 hours and really did the painting! ( Okay, well this might not be such a bad thing, but hey! did you see how I can't reflect also? :P) 
  • My other grandmom and aunt and cousins don't come here much. At all. 
  • Suppose, suppose, my parents left me on my own with my friends and went of town. Can we sneak out/have a craaazy party? NO. : (                                                                                                           ( Not that they'd ever do that, but you gotta have hope right? : P )

Painting which I did. Nice only no? : D

I just started Engineering. I find my self longing for my inter days, when everything was familiar, so much nicer. I remember that in Inter I used to long for my school days which were so carefree, so uncomplicated. Is this what life is all about? Longing for the future, and when you actually get to the future, you wish to get back to the days when you just dreamt about what would happen and not actually be living in it? Is life just a series of big disappointments? I always hate my present and love the future and the past, and when I get to the future, I find my self loving the past (Which I hated then.) Right now.. College is fine, but it's not great. There's nothing to look forward to. No new crushes. Nothing! There's no excitement, or new-ness in my life. it feels kinda like I'm back in school, only without some of the people that made school what it was for me.  
But still, inspite of all this, it's like there's a vacuum. Or something. I'm not a very happy person y'know?

Will there be any point in my life that I'm actually satisfied with how my life is?


"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take." - Mad World.


Let it go
Daisy, Let it go
Open up your fist
This fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest
It doesn't hold your soul
Daisy, let it go

Pain, give yourself a name
Call yourself contrition
Avarice of blame
Giving isn't easy
Neither is the rain
When she gives herself away

Daisy, why another day?
Why another sunrise
Who will take the blame
For all redemptive motion
And every rainy day
When he gives himself away

Somehow this song has been consuming my life for the past 2 days. Only song I like right now. I can't describe how I feel when I hear this song. Amazing. 

New beginnings.

It's finally official. SNIST it is. The college where I'm joining I mean. The orientation was today and I couldn't attend it because my admission hadn't been conformed until the evening. After waiting in the office and then running around to the bank, home, office, home, office, bank again allll day, I'm bloody tired right now.

        The orientation is apparently for three days, tomorrow and day-after being "personality development" sessions. N.S. doesn't want to attend, but I think I'm in some dire need of personality development. Earlier, I wanted to have as much fun as possible. I wanted a "cool-crowd" whom I could hang out with. But now, after my Dad has had to pay such an obscene amount of money to just enroll me in the college ( on account of me not being meritorious enough) , now, all I want to do is get good grades. I never thought I'd say this, but here I am saying I want to study. And engineering that too. Hence personality development workshop it is for me!

   Also, as I mentioned earlier, I wanted not to be socially fucked up anymore. I thought I'd talk to people more and stuff, so this may as well help. But I've regained my confidence due to my " Rendezvous with strangers" : D

So.. I think I'm ready for college and whatever it has to offer ( Well, I think. ) I asked N.S. ( We're going to be in the same college! Yay! ) to give me a kick whenever I lose interest in studying, and I'm sincerely hoping she lives up to her promise. Kt and Ap ( who are in the same college) also had their orientation today, and it was just so, SO weird to think that we're all "Engineering students" now. It somehow just doesn't feel like it ( Though what being an engineering student feels like, don't ask me! ) So no more " Oh-my-parents-are-making-me-study-science-so-i-dont-do-well" crap from me. Also, I think I'll start a new blog to write only about college later. : )

That's all folks! Off to college tomorrow!

P.S. - In the morning, I dropped by my grandparents' house. So I told my Ammamma ( maternal grandma) that I had college form tomorrow. She consulted her star charts and calendars and even called up a couple of purohits and expressly forbade me from going! ' It's not a good time' she insisted. Apparently I should have gone before 10 a.m. today, or I can go after 11. a.m. tomorrow. I can't go the day-after because it's the day before Amavasya and I can't go after that because it IS Amavasya. And if I go on Saturday, Sunday will be a holiday so there'll be a 'dvitiya vigham' so finally she arrived at the solution that I should attend the college from next week.

These grownups I tell ya!


Rendezvous with strangers


I think I have a problem. A very serious reading problem. Oh, all right, continue rolling you eyes and laughing or whatever it is that you're doing on treading those lines. But IT'S TRUE! I can't not finish a book once I've started reading it! I don't know if I was always like this, or if it happened gradually but this came to my attention when recently, I finished reading Vikram Seth's A Suitable Boy ( A massive novel of about 1400 pages) in three days! I read non-stop for 10 and a half hours in one day to finish it. I was zombied out for the rest of the day, but I thought that I read it like that only because the novel was so awesome! ( maybe a post on that later)

   Yesterday, a book that I ordered from ( Really nice service. You should try it out)  Keep Off The Grass arrived at about 6.20 and I was done reading it by 9.45! I looked at the time and I thought WTH?! and that's when I realized about this little reading problem of mine.
      Well, I don't consider it to much of a problem (except for my eyes which feel like they'll drop out of my sockets any time) but I think maybe I should spend a little more time on the books. It's like I have this weird compulsion to know how the book ends, what the characters will do and I can't really rest until I know that. And because of this I read stuff very fast ( Or maybe my reading speed is like that) and I tend to forget little details in the book a few days later and they don't completely sink in unless I read the books for a second time. ( And because of this I have to suffer my friends' unjust accusations that I do not read properly and just skim through. -_- )

  Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading from the kindle which I'll probably get in December. Here's the story behind it. I've been obsessing about buying an e-book reader since 4 months and I even spent 6-7 hours researching about various e-book readers and stuff and I finally zeroed down on Amazon Kindle 3. It's something I can actually afford to buy unlike the i-pad (which is AWESOME btw) I thought I'll ask a cousin of mine who's coming to India in December to buy it in the U.S. for me and I could pay her when she came here. Then one day I'm online, chatting with her and she asks me if I want the kindle! I was pleasantly shocked and I told her how I wanted to ask her to buy it for me and she said she had some coupons and nothing to buy from Amazon anyway. I was/am embarrassed because a kindle after all is no small thing , and she's not even earning but what the hell. I GET A KINDLE! : D

And I also decided I'll stop telling you how worthless my every post is. You already know that don't you?

Aimless. Lifeless.

Engineering colleges in Hyderabad start in 3 days. I still don't know where I'm going.

Here's all the places I thought I'd go to,all the courses I thought I'd take up.

>EFLU - Mass. Comm.
>Francis.- Mass. Comm
>Somewhere in Delhi. B.A. Journalism
>Symbiosis-Mass. Comm
>Long term- To get into all the above
>Bhavan's- ??
>MGIT-  Engg
>CBIT- Engg
>Stanley- Engg
> SNIST-Engg

After all the non engg related options were ruled out by my 'rents, I was under the impression that I was going to SNIST( to study IT- bleh)  for the last 40 odd days. But I'm not so sure any longer. It's even hard for me to believe when I was um.. maybe what you can call as actually looking forward to college. And wearing new clothes. And meeting new people. And maybe even making friends with them. But I've come to a point where I no longer care. I don't care if I don't go to the college on the first day. I don't care about my new not so shiny clothes. I don't care about the people who will be my classmates. I don't even care about the college I'm going to go to. And believe about a month back, these were a BIG deal. So big in fact, that I wanted me and my friend to come up with "HNTBSFU" How not to be socially fucked up, so that I might, well, be not socially fucked up anymore. But now, I no longer want to be not socially fucked up. You know what else? The last time I really made friends was in 1999 or 2000. :|

Okay. I'm done. You can go about your life again, having gained nothing from this post and in fact, after losing  your time on this. : \

My first interview.

I found the website's link through a newspaper article, it seemed to be the answer to my search. It was a website   which had Internships listings for students. I eagerly signed up, and I found that I had to make a resume for it.
'A resume?' I thought, 'No big deal' and I made one for my self like the one's I did for my 12th class English in under 5 minutes. ' There. Done.' I thought. But NOT. The next day I was going through the resume guide and the sample resume given there was SO much better, and I saw my cousin's resume and it was very good too. So I created another resume from scratch again, this time, paying more attention to the details. I slogged over it for about 3 or 4 hours and finally when I was done, it was 12 am! And in that tired sleepy phase I applied to about 10 internships! And I fell asleep immediately.

Two Days Later:

 I log onto the website again, to find that I've been shortlisted for two internships! One as a content writer, and the other as a freelance shirt designer! I corresponded with both the companies and I found that the interview for the content writing internship was the next day! I didn't have a portfolio, I didn't have copies of my resume, nothing! So I sat down that night, dug up an old Global Warming essay I'd written for the school magazine, and wrote another article on the trend of Corporate Schools that night ( Bugged Lava a lot! ) and I took the print outs the next day, the margins of my resume weren't proper so it looked very amateur-ish.

           And so I went. Along with Mum. We didn't know the address or anything about this company and I could tell that my mum was apprehensive. We reached there after about an hour and I went into the office and one guy asked me if I was Sadhana and I thought maybe no else applied for this. He turned out to be the guy who emailed  me and he conducted the interview. Mind you, I had absolutely no preparation, and I only attended the interview because I had nothing better to do. So he asks for my resume and I tell him that it isn't properly printed and hand it over. And he asks me " Tell me about your self" and I'm thinking "Whuuuuuuuuut? Me? " And I manage to not show my unpreparedness by blabbering something about how I'm going to turn 18 and the college I just graduated from. He asked me about my hobbies and I brightened up, because this was one thing I could answer well and so I told him " I read a lot. I like art. I surf the internet" when he interrupts me with " What books have you read?" and I answered him by telling the names of my favourite authors instead of the books. He took a look at my article on corporate schools and I told him that I felt very strongly about the issue and he asked me if the content was genuine so I told him to google it if he wanted. : P He asked me if I could put in enough time as I was just going to start Undergrad. And I assured him that I could

Then, he took the articles to his boss and asked me and mum if we wanted to see the office, which we did, and it was pretty decent. I saw a huuge Apple computer on one desk, and there were about 10 people working in cabins. He told me that they would let me know if I got the internship on Monday, and that. Was. It. My first interview ever! ( And I'm happy that I got the job. Or well, internship. : D )

Another update.

Okay, I decided this is going to be the last rant (?)-y post of mine. I am going to give updates but only that.  NO unnecessary drama about it. : D

I got my first job! Well, I don't know if you can call it a job exactly, but I got an internship with this company as a content writer. It's going to be tough I guess, but I think I can  manage. Annnd, I don't know which engineering college I'm going to go to still. Everyone else has already booked seats in top-notch colleges, and I'm the only one wallowing like this. BWAH. I have a feeling that the next 4 years of my life are going to suck. College-wise and which means everything-wise. But I'm kinda prepared for it. Or not. I don't know. I'm just.... feelingless(?) these days. Like they said somewhere, I'm just existing through my life without actually living it. : /

   And this time I seriously decided I'll update useful stuff on my blogs, because in my internship interview they asked me about my blog and whether I got readers etc., and I was very embarrassed thinking of the rants only, which I put up in mine, and as my friend's Mum, who was kind enough to go through my other blog pointed out, I should cut the usage of slang/swear words. I was able to avoid giving out my exact blog ID saying that I have two blogs and stuff like that but it was tough deflecting it exactly.

*Idea* I'll create a post on how my interview exactly was.
See you in the next post! : P

Just another Update.

So. This is to remind myself more than my Followers ( The awesome few that there are! : D ) of what I've been upto. Orrr.. To be more correct, of how I've been whiling my time doing nothing for the past ( What?!It's been 40 days already? ) Yes, so technically I haven't been exactly not doing anything for the past ten days. I've been to two weddings, but I'm saving that for another post)

I've finished high school, and currently I've nowhere to go. College I mean. My real results aren't out yet and I'm just waiting. And waiting. Annnnd waiting. I think I might just decompose in the process! I thought I'd do SO many things these hols, but so far I haven't done anything. Except make a decent progress through my to-read list.  ( Btw, Shantaram? It isn't as great as I tho.ught it'd be. : | I'm not even a quarterway through the book though)

My friends. Ah. Well. They're kinda jobless too, but I feel everyone is making more use of their time than mine. And having more fun too. :|

I'm getting back on YWS from today : ) ( Thanks to LAVAAAA! )

And and and I want to read A Catcher In The Rye. But I don't have it *sigh*

I have been online for 6 hours today! : D Listened to some awesome new Indian bands! w00t!

That's all for now!

I'll post more nonsense-y posts soon!


Why I blog.

Warning:  May not be of any interest to 99% of you. (Yes, like all my other posts. :\)

Okay. It's been a long time since I've posted anything substantial. And now that I know, a few people actually READ my blog, it's become even more difficult.

I first created a blog about two years back ( All that I wrote there was a crappy intro of my self. ) And I deleted it. A cousin of mine, when I told him that I wanted to become a writer suggested that I start blogging
"Write about whatever that bothers you. Whatever that interests you. Not enough pocket money to go these days or something like that maybe." he said. This was in 11th grade, and I always wanted to do that but I never took it seriously until a few months back. And when I did, it was.... very nice. Different. I could rant/review/whoop with joy about anything and everything I wanted to. And when a few people read what I wrote and actually liked it, it made me realize that THIS is what I wanted to write for. To connect with people. The effect that authors like Ruskin Bond, Tagore, J.K.R. and multitude of others have on me, I want to have that effect on people someday too. ( I know. Tall order. J.K.R and TAGORE! But, hey! I can dream, can't I?) I never craved for followers or begged for comments, the way I see some people do, and when, inspite of that people DO take the time and pain to read what I write and comment, Boy! I'm on cloud nine!
There're so many things I want to do, so many things I hope to accomplish by the end of this summer, but I haven't made a headway with ANY of those stuff. *Sigh* Since, when have I ever done anything I planned to? And I decided that as I have two blogs, there is no point in posting the same thing in BOTH. And so, this one will be for rants and personal stuff of mine, and my wordpress for stories/reviews and other stuff I write. Oh, I plan to review the books I read. Yes, one of those things that I PLANNED to do, but never got around to doing. I'm going to start one right after I finish this. RIGHT after. Or maybe not :|

Signing off with yet another nonsensical post of mine, ( I'm beginning to lose hope that I can ever write coherently),
                                                                                                                                                                   Sadhana. :|


This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 9; the ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Who is a fool?

An eternal optimist?
A die-hard pessimist?

Someone who believes in true- love?
Someone who doesn't believe in love?

One who cares too much?
One who doesn't care at all?

Someone who's extremely sensitive?
Someone who's very hard?

One who has no opinion?
One who is very opinionated?

Someone who asks too many questions?
Someone who doesn't ask questions at all?

I'll tell you who's a fool. YOU! For reading this crap I came up with! Hahaha!Happy belated April fool's day guys! xD

And I PROMISE I'll make a serious attempt at the next Blog-A-Ton. :)

  • The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

  • Zeeee :D

    This is a conversation between Anupama and me. It doesn't make sense to anyone but us. BUT it's SO much funnnn! Zeeeeee!!! =D

    Sadhana: no net
    Annu: zazaza
    Sadhana: cell chuddam ani
    Annu: zaaaaaaazaaaaaaa
    Annu: zazazaza
    Annu: zazaaaaaaaaaa
    Sadhana: ZAZAZAZA
    Sadhana: ZIZIZIZIZIZ
    Sadhana: ZZOZOOZOZ
    Sadhana: ZOZOOZOZ
    Sadhana: ZIZIZIZIIZ
    Sadhana: ZZEZEZEEZ
    Annu: yayyyyy !!!
    Annu: even ze started !!!
    Annu: nize noz ?
    Sadhana: ZAA ZE ZO ZE ZA ZE ZE
    Annu: zaaaa
    Sadhana: ZA ZA ZA ZEE
    Sadhana: ZA ZAAAAAAA ZA
    Sadhana: ZA ZA ZA ZA
    Sadhana: ZA ZAAAAAAAA
    Sadhana: ZA ZA ZA ZA ZAAA ZA ZA ZA
    Annu: ykw ?
    Sadhana: ZA A
    Sadhana: ZA
    Sadhana: ZO
    Sadhana: ZELL
    Annu: junaid na..
    Sadhana: ZEAH
    Annu: he didnt remem angela okay ?
    Annu: her name
    Sadhana: ZANGELA
    Sadhana: ZOO
    Annu: he told mon kehte
    Sadhana: ZO ZAT?
    Annu: anita gossola
    Sadhana: =))
    Sadhana: =))
    Sadhana: =))
    Sadhana: =))
    Sadhana: =))
    Annu: no gossolow
    Sadhana: =))
    Sadhana: =))
    Annu: or somethin lik that
    Sadhana: ZID ZOU ZOW?
    Annu: you re really laffin ?
    Sadhana: ZEAH
    Annu: lol
    Sadhana: ZUNNNY ZIT ZIS
    Annu: okay
    Sadhana: ZOFL
    Annu: lol
    Annu: yeah
    Annu: i laffed yest
    Sadhana: ZOOO
    Sadhana: ZOOF ZOR ZOU
    Annu: so now not  again
    Sadhana: ZEAHHH
    Annu: ZOL !!!
    Sadhana: ZOBVIOUSLY
    Annu: We are ze 'ZEEE GALZ'
    Annu: :D
    Sadhana: ZEZEZEEEEE
    Annu: join ze zlub !
    Sadhana: ZERY ZICE
    Annu: zeeeeezeeeee
    Annu: zi zow !!
    Sadhana: ?
    Annu: zo zun !!
    Annu: zonly zoo n zee !!!
    Annu: :D
    Sadhana: ZOOO
    Sadhana: ZICE
    Annu: vee weeel gazzer ze peepil
    Sadhana: ZOOO
    Annu: zeah
    Sadhana: ZEXCLUSIVE
    Sadhana: ZO
    Annu: zoakyz
    Sadhana: ZAT ZILL ZOU ZO ZOW?
    Annu: zonly zoo n zee zen ?
    Sadhana: ZUMMM
    Annu: zee weel zleep
    Annu: zou ?
    Annu: zooo
    Annu: wiz zoom ?
    Sadhana: WITH
    Annu: ver iz ze ZEE !!!!
    Annu: zee veel be zicked out of zee zlub
    Annu: zou*
    Annu: =))
    Annu: zeee !!! mailz zit zo zee
    Annu: zeezeezeee
    Sadhana: ZOU WILL BE DONE
    Sadhana: :D
    Annu: zazazaza !!!!
    Annu: zunny zunny !!!
    Sadhana: ZEAH ZI ZOW
    Annu: zou zonly zan zunderston zee
    Sadhana: ZAME ZERE
    Annu: zazaza !!!
    Annu: ziz iz za nice strezz buzter
    Sadhana: ZEZEZE
    Annu: vee zan zo zit zo ZKT ?
    Sadhana: ZEAHH ZKT ZE ZCAN
    Annu: zaza
    Sadhana: ZEE ZIS ZFROM ZAR
    Annu: zut Zis zkt wonzt read
    Annu: zaaaaa ! zit doz
    Annu: zool za?
    Annu: za zer ??
    Sadhana: ZEAHH
    Annu: zer zid zou zo !
    Sadhana: ZANYWAY
    Annu: zillow ?
    Annu: zou gowinz ?
    Annu: zoh
    Sadhana: ZEAH
    Sadhana: ZAD
    Annu: zhow zen !
    Annu: zye !!!
    Annu: zzylz
    Annu: zazaza
    Sadhana: ZIS ZIS ZICE
    Annu: zezeze !!!
    Annu: zonlyz zou n zee wizz zike ziz
    Sadhana: ZEZEZEZE
    Sadhana: ZRUE
    Annu: ozzerz wilz zink vee arz maz !!!
    Sadhana: ZAT ZE ZARE
    Sadhana: :D
    Annu: zazaza !!
    Sadhana: ZANYWAY
    Sadhana: ZEETYL
    Annu: zut still
    Sadhana: ZAYE
    Annu: zait !!!
    Sadhana: ZHY?
    Annu: willz zou zut iz on ze zblog ?
    Sadhana: ZUD ZI?
    Sadhana: ZI ZILL


    ZO ZI ZID! xD


    Oh I know, no one is interested in reading about my exams but.....I'm going to tell you anyway. Yes, very un-interesting. So, one more exam- chem, and I don't feel like studying at allll. Argh. I did Math okay. 130/150  And I SHOULD have gotten full marks in Physics, I knew every single thing in the paper, but AGAIN, I messed it up and I'm getting only 53/60. If I manage to get another 53 in Chem I'll be able to scrape a decent 90%. Hope I do. Ummmm.... Chem. Don't. Want. To. Study. I did 4 chapters still have about......... *Ohmigosh* NINE chapters left!!! OhnoOhnoOhnoOhnooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!


    Warning: I don't know why I'm writing this. It's more  like self assuring diary entry not a blog entry... but since my blog's my diary, here goes-
    MathB tomorrow!!! Yes, and I'm blogging now. Yesterday's exam Math A wasn't so bad. I could have gotten 70/75 easily but I did the most stupid mistake ever, so I think I'll be stuck around 65. Still, it's a great improvement from 11th grade. And coming to tomorrow's test, it's the terror of all terrors, Math B-Calculus+Co-ordinate Geometry. And we have only one day to prepare for it, so Iv'e been doing Math B all along in the prep hols, so now I'm....... not tensed at all, even though, I left a whole chapter! And anyway it's not like I'm aiming to get full  marks or anything, so.. lite! Or maybe I'm feeling a bit confident 'coz of Math A. Hm.. That may be it. But I hope I do moderately well in tomorrow's exam. That's all I'm hoping for. And I can't even, you know, pray, because I don't know if I believe in God.
    (But I  did pray yesterday, for lack of anything better to do in the exam hall before they gave the question paper.) I have to go eat lunch and finish Calculus before 3... All The Best To Me! ( Hey! That rhymed)

    Reading list for the summer!

    1)Shantaram - Gregory Roberts
    Have this e-book. But I want to read the original.

    2)The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins.
     Want to read atheist/agnostic books. I'm really curious.

    3)Emma- Jane Austen.
    Read almost all the other Austen books. Plus I watched the anime too!

    4)Atlas Shrugged.
    I looooved The Fountainhead. Wonder what Roark gets upto in this one?

    5)Queen Of Babble3 - Meg Cabot

    6) Dracula- Bram Stoker.
    I'm not all that into vamps anymore, but how can I not read one of the greatest Vamp books (Supposedly) of all time?

    7)Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
    I read the entire unabridged version when I was in the 8th grade. Want to read it again.

    8) The Third Reich-
    It's about the rise and fall of Nazi Germany. Oh, and about a thousand pages long. I started this but got only till page 45.

    9) Glimpses Of World History- Jawaharlal Nehru
    I've been reading this book since the Ninth Grade. I want to finish it!

    10) Guide- R.K. Narayan

    11) Gora- Rabindranath Tagore.
    I LOVE Tagore's works. Searched really hard for Gora in English but I couldn't find it. I think I'll read it in Telugu and put my Telugu skills to the test. that's all I can think of right now, but it's making me sooo happy just thinking of reading these books. Eeeeeee!!! :D:D:D


    Although it's just the end of February and technically it's not Summer yet, it sure does feel  like it! The heat has begun to irk me already. >_>
      And I have so many mixed feelings about it. Once summer gets over I'll be FREE! Free from the CET crap, from 12th grade, from Junior College forever! I have a happy/sad feeling about leaving Junior College... All the memories, the experiences, the (few) friends.... BUT before this I have to face EAMCET- The CET to get into Engineering in A.P., and the competition is tremendous, and the syllabus is too. No surprises there, as I will be trying to learn two years portion in two months time. And then there's the question of coaching for this. The 'wonderful' corporate colleges offer a crash course but their timings are from 8 to 8 everyday. The coaching starts right from the day board exams get over. =\
    I can go to other institutes but the ones near my house.. Well... I went to one coaching center in the First year and then quit it without informing anyone ( The sir there was kinda tormenting me) and now I can't possibly go back to the same institute right?  Hm.. I have to see. I guess this is going to the most monumental summer of  my whole life, in so many ways!

    Bye-Bye Time.

    Yes. It's time I disappeared off of the face of the innernet for a couple of months atleast. Ok, I know, I've been saying this for the month atleast, but THIS time I really really mean it! More than I really really meant the last time around, that's for sure. And now I just got off the phone with Annu, and she challenged me! She said I wouldn't last. ordinarily I admit this would be true, but not this time. My honour is at stake here. So, no more facebooking, orkutting, and blogging for another THREE weeks. *Sigh* I can tell it's gonna be a lonnng time. What with my scheduled dates with The Binomial Theorem, Co-ordinate Geometry and Calculus and getting to know them more intimately than I could ever hope/care for. *Re-reads what she has written.* =\ Oh well, I kinda get like this everytime I think about studying hard.
     This post was kinda purposeless, except to announce to my non-existent followers that I'm gonna be M.I.A. for a little while, AND to remind myself that I HAVE to stick to the plan.

    Annnnyhow, wishing my self all the best. Adios!
    P.S. I'm talking as if I'm dying and as if I'm going into the jungles and no one's sure if I'll comeback. No. I'm going to do Math. Something that is infinitely worse.

    Engineering is NOT the end of the world.

    *Snorts* Yeah. Try telling that to my parents.
    If you haven’t read my earlier post. I’m in the 12th grade and I absolutely loathe math. And also Physics and chemistry to a certain extent, and my parents expect me to become an Engineer. I took them to see 3 idiots, springing the fact that I coaxed them to watch the movie only because of the Madhavan angle, at the last-minute. I used the dialogue “engineer banoongi to bhi bura Engineer banungi” on them :| Nope. No effect. I keep dropping hints every chance I get about how I hate this and they’re making me do it. Finally my Mum blew up one day and said “Yeah do whatever you want. I’m not forcing you to do anything. You go ahead and do your degree( She said this as if it was a swear word). No pressure at all. I just want to see my daughter succeed like Sumana ( Brilliant Engineer of the family) I’ll give up my dreams. Go ahead and do whatever you want”
    That’s right. I can do anything I want. Only if I do what I want I’ll be fit for nothing. :|
    Why do parents have this stance that Engineering/Medicine are the only acceptable streams for their darling children to take, irrespective of their interests? Sure, nowadays parents are more open to other streams, but I still see this attitude prevalent everywhere. “Degree student ho tho life mein waste, engineer ho tho kuch value hota hai society mein” Yeah right. There are loads of people in the non E stream who get paid more than engineers. Sure, the starting salary may not be the same, but what about the job satisfaction? What about your passion?
    I really want to become a writer. While that may not be possible just like that, I’m always interested in anything creative. Any creative task and I jump up to do it asked/unasked. But I’m being made to sit and study Bayer’s theorem and acetylation and alkylation. None of which make sense and I don’t care a rat’s fart about them. But who cares? Eamcet mein I have to get rank and become an Engineer. I’m warning you people, if I ever become an Engineer and actually build a bridge or something, DON’T cross it! :D
    *Sigh* Life’s depressing. You don’t know just HOW much I envy kids whose parents let them do whatever they want. SO jealous.:(
    Some people hate studying.They don’t want anything to do with books. But I DO. Only not M.P.C. I can read pages and pages of History. I can immerse myself in Civics. Read hundreds of Books, review them. I really want to learn new stuff. Politics, Current affairs, World wars, India- Just LOVE these things. I spend time researching/reading about them even when I don’t have to. Not just that I don’t have to I’m never gonna need anyy of those if I become an Engineer (Okay, I’ll be an Engineer who’s aware of the world, but who hires worldly-wise engineers anyway? All they see is your bloody G.P.A. >_>)
    This wasn’t a coherent post. I know. But I just HAD to get it out of my system!

    \Pink Floyd/

    I can't explain you would not understand
    This is not how I am
    I have become comfortably numb.


    Brains should come with an on/off button. Seriously. I can't stop thinking right now, even though I'm on a break. The all-dreaded Math exam tomorrow. I don't know what I'm studying. I don't know what I'm going to write. All the chapter names seem familiar, look easy, but once I start trying to solve the sums, I remain there, trying. And tomorrow's exam Math-A is supposed to be really easy. Even I  actually liked it once upon a time. Once upon a time, when I wasn't neck deep in the middle of exams and trying to cram a years worth of lessons into my head and miraculously expect that I remember AND get good grades. *Sigh*
      My breaks not turning out to be a break at all.




    Who am I?

    Here's an old poem written by me

    Who Am I?
    This is the question I am trying to answer.
    It’s not the question of my name, religion or ethnicity,
    it is about my personality.
    Sometimes shy, sometimes outspoken.
    Sometimes happy, sometimes mad.
    I want to fit in, but then again, I want to stand out.
    I hate to be judged by how I look,
    but that’s exactly what everyone does.
    People think I am something, someone.
    I am not the person of their perceptions.
    But how can I tell them who I exactly am, if I,myself, am not sure?

    ARGHHHHHHH!! I'm going mad!

    I'm angry, frustrated, and screaming like the girl who is being tortured by multiple people! EHHHHHHHH!

    Been writing physiscs record all day while listening to the first and second season of friends on my laptop. And there's no food in the house. And I got fever. Annnnnd my mood became totally  %#@$^%@$%&*$^!!
    Have to complete So much more. Get the record signed by tomorrow, *NOT gonna happen since I don't have the sheets of an entire experiment*, prepare for the practical pre-final day after, study for the actual pref-finals from Monday. Wow. My life is just SO perfect. Innit? Yeah. I know. I know. It's all because of me.. why couldn't I have studied before, I could have avoided all this. Blah, blah, blah. I get enough of that from my mum already. One more reason I'm going mad  like this. I youtubed all the sickest metal songs and I'm listening to them at the highest volume possible. Hmm.. maybe it's pysho alter-ego  trying to torture me to death. But, I actually kinda like it. Anyway, I'll go torture myself more.
    One final scream ( This time banshee wail) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    On a high! =D

      Zetsubou Billy.
     I got this song from a friend's cd. It was too screechy and it was in Japanese and I never paid much attention to it. But I heard this song again recently.... Got me on Freaking high! Especially in combo with Death Blooms. I have listened to heavy metal songs before but none of them have got me on a high before! Wow! These somgs are awesome!  *Head bangs again* Yay!
      In other news, I have just de-activated my facebook account. :(
     AND I have decided I'm going to study from today ( In fact, as soon as I finish updating this I'm gonna go do that. Seriously.) My Pre-final marks were texted to my parents yesterday. And I really messed those tests up. Didn't even get half the marks in Math. And you know what? My Dad didn't say a SINGLE word. You must think "How lucky!" but it really sucks more when parents don't say anything than when they yell at you really badly. Really, really hurts. And my Mom took me to a tuition, the one that I attended in the tenth grade. Apparently they started teaching Inter too. And you know what my mum said?  "Work hard for this one month you'll get atleast 60% in Math" Yikes! That stung. And I'm determined to go the tuition and study really hard and make my parents proud. And live up to the expectations of  everyone.
     *Gulp* Did I really say that? Huh. I did. It's going to be really, REALLY hard. But I'm going to give it my best shot. Didn't give studying any shot till now! =|
    Blog post ka title tha, " On a high" but I'm extremely depressed now. Ironic isn't it? Well. That's the story of my life!

    Telangana. A rant.

    Yes, I know I must be the umpteenth person writing/cribbing about this, but still, can’t take the crackbrained discussion about the “Pro’s and Con’s” of creating a separate state everywhere I turn, when I can see NO pro to this proposal. In any which way.

    Why don’t people get that only power hungry morons ( A certain clownlike ass-hole in mind) want a separate state of Telangana?

    And TRS contested in the elections and lost. Which means, Duh-uh! People don’t want a freaking separate state!!!

    You know what? A “peaceful” rally by the O.U. students includes trying to barge into areas they’re not supposed to be in. And pelting stones at the police, smashing public property and property owned by those people who’ve committed the henious crime of belonging to some other part of the country.They impose the fugly name telangana on every fuckin hospital, institution, building or SURFACE possible! Grrr!

    My main problem with all this is the idea of the T.R.S. asking Andhra people to get out of their so-called land and thereby do justice to the locals. Dudes, when Raj Thackeray said the same thing in Mumbai protesting that the non-locals should get out and only the mumbaikars should remain, he was ARRESTED! Why don’ t I see anyone arresting these people then?They’ve even come up with a stupid slogan, (well, not so stupid because it really goes to show what they want) ‘Andhra walon bhago, Telangana walo jago”

    I mean, Wtf? are the whole bunch of these people illiterate jerks? Ask 7th class kids, they’ll tell you.

    The right to live/study/work in any part of the country is a Fundamental Right!

    And why don’t these people think of the students? The dilemna thousands of families will be in if there is a separate Telangana? Even before there is a decision on anything, Andhra people all over Hyderabad are being tormented. It is the Andhra buses that are being burnt. It is the malls owned by Andhra people which are being vandalized. If they want Telangana to be developed that badly can’t they do anything while being a part of Andhra Pradesh? I’m not too sure, but I think people in U.P., Rajasthan have may more reaon to complain/fight for than Telanga people. If all the money that has been poured into this agitation, all that has been lost due to the incesasnt bandhs (News flash: Another one tomorrow) was actually utilized for something, people would have benefited. A lot.

    And thus I end my rant. Still want to crib more. Gah.> >_<


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